


Tired

by Kotlc



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 13:40:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18152576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kotlc/pseuds/Kotlc
Summary: So this is similar to the frerard one. Tyler is tired. Of everything. Of his relationship, of being left out, of people constantly disrespecting him, and of life.





	Tired

**Author's Note:**

> Remind me why I write stuff again?  
> Inspired by Perfect and Chip My Heart by halfsweet. Amazing author, and the works are absolutely incredible, go read them, you will not regret it. So much better than I could ever write.

Tyler is tired of being left out all the time. It's like they're ignoring him on purpose. Whenever Mark would go out with Josh or his other friends, they didn't invite him. The rare times they did, it felt a bit awkward. Tyler didn't know why. They used to be able to just talk for hours about random stuff and still be happy and comfortable. He gets that Brendon is busy and doesn't have time because he's recording an album. He understands. He understands that Patrick is busy too. Tyler gets that. What he doesn't get is that Josh doesn't even bother. Even though the others are busy, at least they make time to talk to him or meet up with him. But Josh has been so distant lately. Too busy with Debby. Tyler knew it was a matter of time before Josh got back together with Debby. Even though him and Tyler are engaged. Tyler just can't understand why Josh proposed if he wasn't in love anymore. He's seen the pictures of him and Debby on his phone. And then Josh changed his password. And he's always out, not telling Tyler about where he went or making up excuses. 

He hears the bedroom door open and doesn't shift from his position on the bed, where he's reading a book. 

"You're not asleep yet?" Josh asks softly. 

Tyler shakes his head without bothering to look at Josh as he walks over. Josh gives him a half smile and presses a kiss to his forehead. The scent of Debby hits him like a train. He doesn't comment. Tyler hears the shower turn on as Josh steps in and then his fiancé is climbing into bed. Tyler stared at a hickey on Josh's neck as the older man is turned away. Only when he turns of the lights does Tyler realize that he's been reading the same page for almost two hours now. 

When he wakes up, Josh is gone again, and the bed is cold. Like always. 

................

_"How are you feeling?"_

_"Tired."_

_................_

Tyler is tired of the disrespect from some fans and interviewers. Some fans are so rude. They aren't really fans. They insult him and Josh, make fun of them, and Tyler would be fine if they'd said they preferred other types of music. Tyler doesn't care or kind at all. But they'd insulted Josh. And Tyler had gotten pissed off. He'd defended Josh without retaliating with anything awful in return. But Josh hadn't defended Tyler. A part of him felt betrayed while the majority felt that he deserved it.

If an interviewer is going to be interviewing them, shouldn't the person at least learn something about them or their songs. Now don't get him wrong, not all interviewers are like that. Some are great and ask great questions and really make him feel included. But sometimes the questions are plains stupid. 

"What's a Blurryface?"

He remembers the interviewer asking. It's who, not what. And Blurryface has been haunting him lately, whispering things into his ear that Tyler has convinced himself are lies. But deep down he knows they're not.

_You're not good enough for Josh. That's why he isn't in love with you anymore. Oh, wait, he never was. Because who could love a silly, messed up, broken person like you?_

Josh promised he would. That he would always love Tyler. That's the promise that comes with a marriage proposal. But of course Josh didn't mean it. Blurryface is right.

_Would Josh even miss you if you where gone?_

_................_

_"How are you feeling?_

_"Tired."_

_................_

Tyler is tired of his relationship. To be honest, it isn't a relationship anymore, really, just a _thing_ that's built out of lies and heartbreak. Maybe it once was. Tyler doesn't know if Josh ever was truly in love with him or if it was just guilt that had pressured Josh into the relationship. But the way Josh used to smile at him contradicted that. Or was he just that good of an actor? 

Tyler stares at the message that's popped up on Josh phone. 

_Miss you babe_

From Debby. Tyler has finally figured out Josh's new password and opened it to see pictures of him and Debby, looking like the perfect couple, smiling sweetly at each other with arms wrapped around the other. So perfect, like him and Josh never was. He hears the shower turn off and puts the phone back in its original position. 

He keeps picturing Debby and Josh in his mind for the rest of the day and decides that he's done with it. With everything. Josh wouldn't miss him. His friends wouldn't miss him. Maybe Brendon and Patrick would, but only for a little bit. And maybe the fans. But they'll get over him as soon as another artist pops up that's better than him. 

He's just so done.

................

_"How are you feeling?"_

_"Tired."_

_................_

Tyler's tired of life. Life for others is different. They have families and a significant other and they're _happy_ and _content_ with their lives. Tyler isn't. Maybe the next life will be different. Maybe he'll find somebody that loves in the next life. Or maybe not. 

_Life is so easy take away_ , he thinks as he watches the bright red blood pour out of his wrists and into the tub. _Just a few cuts too deep and it's gone_.

And Tyler's remembering. He's remembering the happiness he'd first felt with Josh, the feeling that was so _right_. Before everything fell apart.

_"We're forever,"_ Josh had promised. 

What is forever to Josh Dun? A year, maybe less? Tyler will never know. And for the first time in a long time, he's content about something. 

He sees Blurryface again. But this time it's not Tyler's own face. It's Josh. 

_"How do you feel?"_

His therapist's voice rings loud and clear inside his head. Tyler smiles, a big, genuine smile, and whispers,

"I feel so alive."


End file.
